So, no. We shouldn’t ever let ourselves get that bad. But, truth is, for so many people, V-Day is more commercial than it is special. And then, some of us don’t have good Valentine’s Day memories. Don’t. Can’t.
Now, this is in the past, I no longer bear any hate—but once upon a time, Valentine’s Day died for me when an ex sent some flowers and I called him up, thinking he wanted to get back together. Instead, he admitted that he bought the flowers because there was a special deal, and he didn’t want to look bad in front of his brother who was already using his credit card to buy a bouquet for his own girlfriend…
(B, it’s okay now. It’s really okay… Cause I invented Me Week! And yes, you could celebrate Me Week and Valentine's Day together if you want. Why not? It's just more luvin'.) Wanna see what I did for Me Week 2013?
Not to be confused with a "Me Party", but it's pretty darned close...
Oh, I wasn’t traumatized. I just started a tradition of avoiding CVS-AS-IF-IT-BURNS starting from mid-January until the end of February. (Oh, it’s cool—you think you can’t but you sure can get all your essentials at the grocery store. They told me so when I used to work at CVS—it’s their whole marketing edge and such…)
We Need A Me Week, Really Do We?
But, last year, I thought back to all the positive memories I have of being raised Catholic. I’m not Catholic anymore, but I do remember that Valentine’s Day was Saint Valentine’s Day, a day to show love for whomever you care for in your life. My father would (and still does) get candies and cards for Mom and all us girls, I kept sending fuzzy notes to all my girlfriends up until college… and then there was that time in the Beebe Hall livingroom when all the girls taped pictures of exes to a piñata and beat it to death… then that whole floral fiasco before V-Day died. Gosh, all those great memories from childhood—there had to be a way to heal and get that back.My First Me Week
So, last year, when everyone had just one day to try and fix a hot date or get the flowers in time, I gave myself an entire week. I embraced my adulthood, I embraced my singlehood, and I went on one self-date, most on my own, for each day of V-Day week:- I stood in line for more than an hour at the Sackler Gallery to meet a top Asian chef with and try an award-winning beef noodle soup recipe (I’m black, I don’t usually get access to the young Asian DC crowd, but there were soooo many sexy, well-dressed beautiful people there, it was an incredible experience to be in that energy, and people watch and have my world opened).
- I took a very quiet and beautiful free tour of the Mexican Cultural Institute, which is such a romantic space with murals painted by a mentee of Diego Rivera, I believe. There are also picturesque mansion rooms. There were two additional art installations to see as well. All free.
- I went shopping at my favorite small business—El West, also in Mount Pleasant, and got some very sexy, California fashionables for my buck. I think that’s where my kiss-tank, slashed up lace shirt and the patent pleather halter top came from. Great memories for a girly-girl!
- I took my time and went to the National Zoo, my favorite place on the entire planet of Earth.
- Y, comí algunas pupusas de camarones, from Ercilia’s—in Spanish—which ohmyGodaretheysogood.
But what I really got out of that week was a refreshing reminder that real love is in the thrill of life itself—it is about slowing down and being mindful of what really matters, counting your blessings… and what does that do? It opens your world, it opens your heart back, maybe you’ll even meet someone while you’re out?
Maybe… but that’s not the point of Me Week. It’ll be tempting because it’s a romantic week, and you can certainly flirt, I didn’t say you couldn’t be social or sexy… But don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself while you’re out. Just enjoy being you.
Me Week is about giving yourself as much love as you can, the love you deserve. And, if you think about it, who else can do that so perfectly except for you?
Tha’s right. No one else can but you, baby. *pet pet*
Make Your Own Me Week
If you want to try this and feel as renewed as I did, I recommend you try to stick to the following guidelines:1. First rule of me-week: I strongly recommend that you go to your first self-date all by yourself.
Seems obvious, but just in case it isn’t… This is for you. Go and do something you’ve brushed aside because you’ve always felt you didn’t have the time or none of your friends wanted to go (guess I’ll be going clubbing in my PJs for me-week 2013!). If you’ve never honestly done something special for yourself before, then you’ve got to pop that self-date cherry. Yes, you do, sweetie.
2. Whether you “come out” about doing Me Week or not is up to you.
V-Day can be hard for some of us, and it might be painful to admit you’ve made alternative plans. If so, that’s okay. It can be something that’s a secret treat for yourself, like an old peppermint in your pocket.
I actually did the beef noodle soup thing with a couple of my girlfriends. It was the day after Valentine’s Day, but I felt I’d racked up enough self-dates by that late in the week. Though, if you do include your friends on a Me Week date, I really encourage you to explain what it is you’ve taken on for the week. It heightens the experience in that you are all celebrating yourselves together. You feel so much more loved and empowered, exactly like going to the spa: everyone is focused on being as pampered as they can get themselves and there’s no shame in it. (Hell, girls night out spa in the middle of the week, that’s another good idea…)
3. Remember that this is a lot like taking a vacation for yourself.
You don’t have to be off work to do this, though. In fact, it’s even better if you squeeze it around your 9-5 because then you really are going out of your way to do something nice for yourself. Just get it into your mindset that, just because you are on your own or you aren’t really “accomplishing” anything, doesn’t mean you are wasting your time, like a vacation.
Don’t stress too much about details. If you aren’t a planner, then don’t—but a loose list of what’s going on in the area will help you feel like you’re making the most of your wandering around town time. If you like planning—then plan the hell out of that sucker—who’s going to complain that you are keeping yourself on a schedule? You?? Naaaaw… Do what you like, but don’t make things difficult for yourself. You have to rely on yourself for your own entertainment—and absolutely no guilt trips allowed if things don’t go exactly as planned.
4. Make a mental post card
In the middle of each activity, take time to breathe, look around yourself and make a mental postcard to remember for later, when you’re lying in bed, remembering the day... “Wow, I really am in line for world famous beef noodle soup, surrounded by soo many people who don’t look anything like me, but we’re all equally excited—I would just kill for that recipe—and I just called the Perrier “fizzy water” with my pinky outstretched from the glass. Life is so delicious!” I am also a big fan of taking a shot at starting a random conversation with a stranger about what you’re experiencing at the time. People can be so funny whether they’re rude or when they respond to your warmth. If they are rude, just talk trash about them later as you’re falling asleep to your mental post card.
Me Week Ideas
- A dinner for one (but not a “bitter, party of one!” type of deal—also, avoid scheduling this on the night of Valentine’s Day. If you’re already sensitive about the holiday, seeing all the couples, breathing their same air, will be tough). Fave restaurant, fave book… or, challenge yourself to stare out the window, at other diners, and just be fully present about being served and eating something you know yo’ ass can’t make for yourself at home. Order that weird thing on the menu your friends would tease you for a year about. I found out I liked octopus.
- Sleep naked. Stay with me here... no, no, don't leave the page... just... try it. One time in your life. You don't even have to tell anyone else you've done it. Just do it. Sleep nekkid. Then, sleep in the next morning.
- Go to the toy store. Remember all those toys you wanted to have as a kid? Well, guess who might have ten bucks to buy that LEGO set Mom or Dad refused to get you when you all were passing through Target to pick up a few things? Take THAT Mom and Dad! And, Gramma!
- A mini fashion show. Your favorite store, window shop, try on everything, laugh at what doesn’t fit or at what someone was clearly on crack when they designed, and then leave, laughing.
- A long walk, during which you sing to yourself and don’t tone your voice down when people pass by.
- Go outside your neighborhood/comfort zone. Something that somebody living in a city wouldn’t normally experience. I'm writing from here in Washington, DC... If you're also local — Do you know about the Rock Creek Horse Center? It’s free, and a chance to walk around a real stable and pet a horse. If you’re a suburbanite, come into the city. Don’t turn your nose up. The city you work in can be a wonderful place, especially if you’re eager to take in some culture or try one of those hot dance spots where they teach you how to salsa before they open the dance floor. Totally a fun way to go dancing on your own, without your girls or boys.
- Watergun fight in the winter. Go over to your friend’s place, knock on his door, and then blast him with a watergun. Drop a second one at his feet and then run away… If you really want to be mean, don’t fill up the second one with water. Then, pursue them deep into the house until they can fumble and get their weapon loaded at the sink. He gets mad, you know how some people shout "YOLO?" You shout "Me Week!" and get him in the nuts... Okay, so under the arms is nicer.
- Volunteer at your favorite organization.
- Call an old friend. Make some cocoa, sit in your favorite spot, and then call a friend that you haven’t spoken to in a long, long time. Make it a long, long, good conversation.
- Go shamelessly people-watch somewhere. If you take a friend, you can sit there together and just talk trash about strangers for hours… so fun (I, uh, imagine).
- Buy a cheap coloring book, sit in public, and color-up that mother fuckah (imagine Macklemore’s "Thrift Shop" voice here). In fact, do that at dinner-for-one.
- Lie to a child. Tell them something about the world that definitely isn’t true, using your adult authority to be convincing. Then, smile really big. “Ice cream comes from happy snow men.” (from Shin Chan)
- Cook something for someone and then surprise them with it. Cook something for your office, leave it out and then send an email with the subject “Made some cookies for everyone” and then leave only a smiley face in the body of the email. Play your favorite music at home while you bake the cookies.
- Hug all your friends that you run into that week. Come on, I have seen guys give random manly hugs too.
- Be kind to a stranger. Randomly offer to help someone on the street who looks a little lost or is in need of something else.
- WASTE MONEY ON CANDAAAAAAAY! Yum!
Puja's 2013 Me Week Adventures
Dinner with a future designer - One night after work, I had a spontaneous home-cooked dinner with my style-savvy friend :) turned into a 2-3 hour session during which he gave me great notes (I did write down notes) on the five pillars of fashion, where to buy inexpensive designer shoes, find awesome wigs & boutiques in the city, and then he did a full review of my closet, gave empowering compliments and excellent advice on what to wear going forward. You're so awesome, Eugene, ty!!!
Slappy Squirrel, Pepe le Pew and He-Man - I definitely took one day and did nothing but watch old cartoons. Trying to get through the "new" He-Man: Masters of the Universe Animated Series now. So awesome. Though... I don't like the Sorceress' new costume, shoulda stuck with the blue and gold. Hangs off her better.
Rediscovered a sense of wonder in my hometown - Spent the day wandering around DC listening to VEVO on my phone, trying hard not to dance as I waited for the bus, the Metro, in line, on the escalator... failed, really. Ate at my favorite restaurant, decided to go window shopping in Georgetown, but then stumbled into an amazing sale at B2B. Had a man, one of the really nice clerks, taking maybe thirty items into the dressing room for me, no questions, no complaints... just a kindly smile. Thus encouraged, I felt great in the mirror and found amazing deals — I sensibly settled on only three pieces after the me-and-my-reflection fashion show in the fitting room. Finally, the biggest surprise of all happened on my way home...
I got lost - In the city I grew up in. In an area I frequent. Somewhere around Dupont Circle, I found myself swaddling against the cold in my spike-studded pink jacket (too cute for the weather, I know, it's awful) with just a scarf, clutching poor Hello Kitty bag and everything else... I noticed embassies and wonderful statues that I'd never seen before. Oh my goodness — my city could still do this to me. No, I had not seen it all. No, it was not boring or lame in any measure to be living here now, still, when I'd already "done that" in the nineties... Eventually, I found my way and I was smiling and singing to myself really pleasantly once I did. How lovely, how refreshing it is to get lost! Have you ever thought about it? Wondrously lost, and helpless before so many amazing new things around you. I made it home just before it rained.
And met some real hot studs - Haha! No, I'm still single. But, coming home from Dupont Circle via the 42 Bus, which I hadn't originally intended, enabled me to notice a cuuuute studded bra in the window of El West that I ran out and bought the next morning.
Muahaha...
About Me
Me Week is something I thought up in 2012, and I just want to give it to the world, because it did make my life better. It renewed my hope in romance, actually. Sometimes… people forget how easy it is to just give love and receive it. But, all that begins with learning how to love yourself. And for what it’s worth, if you can understand why I say so… I love you. I wish you the best this Me Week.I’m a young, black fantasy fiction writer and the rest of this blog is dedicated to lots of odd stories about love and adventure. I definitely invite you to snoop around and read some of this scandalous, silly stuff while you’re visiting. :-)
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So nice of you to get Randitty today. Hope your read was a good one!